K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
