ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize