it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
