So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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