with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
