i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
