Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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