i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
