Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
