well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
