I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
