It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
