I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
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Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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