yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize