He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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