There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
