I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
