he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize