He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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