We're facebook friends in real life
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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