Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
