If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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