Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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