Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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