Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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