So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
