you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
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Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
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He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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