so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
