it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
This is the high leading the old right now
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Randomize