Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize