So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
stop calling my apartment porn island.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So much rum. So many feels.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
