Please, let me fuck your mom
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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