i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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