Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
