so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
