Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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