yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize