But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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