well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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