ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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