Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
