went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
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I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
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My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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