How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
