this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
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I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
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Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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