Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
