I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
