shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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