so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
