Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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