I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
