I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
