So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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