i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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