he shaved USA in his pubs
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
