Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
