About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I need to sanitize my soul.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
