okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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