i think my tv is drunk
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
